Shared Home Equity

How nice it is to share!
Come to the lucky country:
Australia!

Did you know
some bright sharing chaps
got together and created
“shared equity finance”.

You see it is
to help those poor folks
who can’t manage to buy
their own home -
the great Australian dream.

Admittedly, on average,
the good folk of Sydney for example,
can’t manage to pay off
their beloved dream
in one lifetime.

And since we in the West
do not believe in reincarnation
this does create a problem.
So there are quite a few
of these poor wretched folks.

Back to the ‘sharing’:
see these nice fellows
in what are called
financial institutions,
allow you to buy the bedroom,
and they’ll buy the kitchen.
Although you still are allowed
to cook your food.

And if the house goes up in value,
you will get a bigger bedroom,
and the sharing fellow will get
a bigger kitchen.

So then I’ll buy the bedroom;
and then when I’m old and dead,
my kids can spend their lifetime
paying off the kitchen;
and when they’re old and dead,
my grandkids can
eat, sleep, and be merry -
such nice sharing fellows.

Can’t afford the great Australian dream?
No troubles - here’s half a dream.
Gee thanks, I’ll sleep well now.
And although I won’t sleep quite so well,
in the morning there will be a new joy
to having breakfast in bed.